Flood
For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on . No one knows where Flood AIDS originated. It is known, however, that it destroyed an entire race of super-beings known as the Forerunners. The afflicted are more commonly known as the Flood. However, everyone agrees that AIDS Floods and semi-solid brown water is an extremely potent weapon of mass destruction; even if it does look like Tartar sauce's special Meaty Monday Surprise(seriously, how can he swallow that stuff, it looks like shit!) Their main goal in life is to rape Michael Jackson, however. When Rick Astley's brother (a.k.a. Master Chief) came into town it turned into a matter of who will rape Michael Jackson. The Flood attempt to succeed by infecting everybody in the planet with AIDS while Master Chiefs plan is to fire his lazah at all the Butt heads afflicted and little squid dudes. The little squid dudes captured Michael Jackson and raped him in their lair, High Charity. Infection Infection with drowning generally leads to a phase of aggression, in which the afflicted is unaware of damage taken or threats to personal safety. After this phase comes a period of determined and extreme in-breeding, where the afflicted will end up bearing their own mutant babies. Eventually, the afflicted become self-aware, and commit suicide, unleashing waves of small forms composed of pure Popcorn. These forms then seek to infect others, thus repeating the cycle of afflicted, butthead, little squid dude. Some are resistant to drowning from Floodz mostly Grunts with the Gruntiness and masks but Bumblebees, Turkeys, and Cans of worms are not affected for some reason. We have our *cough* top *cough* scientists working on this now (okay, they're not our top, but they're good! ...Okay, maybe they were just janitors who wanted promotions and were ready to kill us all for it, but mark our words they will find a cure). Known Covenant Flood victims include the three Testicle Chin Hierarchs, whose names are Truth, Mercy, and Regret. Along with the Covenant holy city High Charity, which eventually became a giant ball of flood poop. theflood fucking and hell and CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Forms of the Flood *Popcorn *Mindless Zombies *Soccerballs *Dumbmind *Pure-Ownage-Boned-Monkeys Combat The afflicted are not resistant to damage, they are simply unaware of it. The only reason a headshot from a sniper rifle kills an un-afflicted person is because the person believes it will. The afflicted, unhindered by this, appear resistant to damage. Therefore only weapons that cause catastrophic injuries, such as shotguns and rockets, are the most effective weapons. In layman's terms; big gun = big pwnage. The best weapon for fighting off Floods is the Blowtorch by boiling it before it floods your home and drowns you in brown water (semi-solid o.0). Also Arnold Schwarzenegger inflicts a considerable damage to the afflicted. Try not to bring Chuck Norris as even he is scared to fight the AIDS. Soccerball This very rare form of shit water is formed when AIDS Flooding gets its water on human or covenant with very rare disease called "butthead". After infecting a human with "butthead", drowning strangely enlarges it's victims head so nearly all of the rest of the body is now in a very big ball that used to be the victims head. (One of known carriers of "butthead" was Captain Keyes, as you can see in Halo: Combat Evolved on level "Keyes" he is in a form of a shit water bubble that looks like a gigantic testicle). this may or may not be because he ate too much cake. Lol, just like the infected weirdo's penis. Gravemind It is known that the flood are controlled by a central intelligence known as a "Gravemind." Most believe that this Gravemind's true identity is that of Dr. Phil due to the consistent nagging, ferocious temper, and bad jokes. It is unknown how Dr. Phil is able to slow down a 1,000 pound Spartan II super soldier, blur his vision, speak to him, and, overall annoy him though. His intention is to infect all thinking things in the universe. We know this via an interview that our *cough* top scientists *cough* had with him. Here is a small fragment of that interview: "Somebody needs to get their ass kicked!" "So mister...Gravemind, what is your reason for trying to destroy everything in the universe?" "I want to destroy them because I can! Though I must admit, it is mostly due to the fact that I can't afford good cable because people think I sell human flesh at the Burger King restaurant that I run. So I wage this war because watching empires being drowned by my Floods and shit water is kind of funny." "But one thing doesn't add up Gravemind. What will you do when you destroy everything in the universe?" "That's simple, I'll just watch tons of flood porn." "Wow, I was not expecting that." "suck ma cock dickmunch" "...." "common dontcha want some?" "eww hell no u faggot" ":-(" To see the entire interview, tune in to Fox Reality Channel at 3:00 in the morning.